What Would Marshtomp Do?

Shortly after midnight one night (or morning, if you’re the super-technical type…), I was looking around at third generation Pokémon stuff on Amazon. I’d recently had a reinvigorated interest in the game’s soundtrack, and went to look to see if it was viable to purchase in CD form (Answer: It’s really not. Way too expensive.)

I stumbled upon Pokémon Ruby’s Amazon page after noticing in a “Recommended for You” thing (likely given to me because I’d been on the page for the soundtrack) that the advertised price for a new copy of the game was over $1,000. Crud.
It turns out it was just the lowest of the featured merchants, but still.

As I was about to leave the page, I quickly flipped through the uploaded pictures out of curiosity, just to see what they were.

For a split-second, I saw this.

A normal single-battle with a Marshtomp. Looks fairly ordinary to you, right?

Well, that’s because you’re not me at 12:10 in the morning.

I read the primary text in my split-second glance as, “What would Marshtomp do?”

Now, this probably still seems harmless and all to you right now. That is, until I explain that I’m currently in a class on religion in America, and we had just discussed earlier that day the rise of the popular evangelical Christian phrase “What Would Jesus do?” in the early 1900s.

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My mind substitutes in a sole Marshtomp, and I picture a world where many boys and girls, young and old, trying to work out their problems in their day-to-day lives, look up pensively, put their hands underneath their chin thoughtfully and ask themselves, “What would Marshtomp do?”

They begin to debate with each other. What was Marshtomp like? Gentle? Bold? Adamant? Mild?

But regardless, at the end of the day, they trust in the teachings of Marshtomp to be their guide for what is good and what is evil.

So, remember. The next time you have to make an ethical decision, ask yourself that simple question. What would Marshtomp do?

 

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Okay, scratch that. Seriously. Don’t.