Wednesday, February 6, 2013

A long post with very little thought put into it


            I’m going to warn you right now, this post is going to be very long, and quite possibly not all that entertaining, however, I will try to throw humorous phrases and pictures in where possible.
Well, my dad and I recently took a trip to Seattle for a weekend to see Muse in concert. And I have to say, that was one of the best weekends ever. It started off by getting up at 3:30 in the morning to leave for Seattle. For some reason, I was more awake then than whenever I am at school. My theory is that schools have some form of device embedded in the walls that sucks all life and energy from the students. This energy is then sent to China for the production of lead-based paint for all of the toys that we buy our kids here in America. Anyway, the train that I was taking to Seattle (yes those things still exist) was supposed to leave at 4:40; however, it arrived at the station at 6... So after hours of doing nothing, I got on the train and did nothing for a few more hours.

This was my view for the majority of the train ride…
My knees were comfortably smashed against this wall
So I'm sitting on the train, and across the aisle is just one of those people that if you give them an opportunity to talk, you know you are going to get their entire life's story, so I made a very concerted effort not to talk to this person. I was really successful in this endeavor; however, the lady in the seat behind me was not. This person went much further than talking about their life’s story, this person also went into great detail on the lives of their who-knows-how-many children. After a few hours of agonizing torture of listening to this person’s ramblings, they finally got off of the train. It was at this moment I remembered that I had packed my headphones and my iPod. *facepalm* Once I had realized this, the majority of the train ride was uneventful.
So we arrive in Seattle, and we walk down to one of the piers, I don’t really remember which one, but we got lunch. Now if you’ve never eaten at the Crab Pot and you like seafood, I would highly recommend it. They take a ginormous mixing bowl of crab, shrimp, mussels, clams, corn, potatoes, and sausage and just dump the whole thing right in the middle of the table. It was wonderful!
After lunch we walk next door to the aquarium. Why is it that like every seafood restaurant has an aquarium within a block? Anyway, the aquarium was pretty cool, other than the myriad of little children that were there. I think it was a school field trip or something. When we were about to leave the aquarium, and I noticed these people behind us. It’s not that unusual for someone to be behind you, especially in a place like Seattle. However, after walking about 4 blocks with having no idea where we were going, and them still following us, I was becoming a bit unnerved. But once I realized where we were, I was significantly less worried.
We ended up on Pike Street market. Tourist trap like no other. Thankfully we were able to escape the abyss without buying anything. Frankly, I’m just glad I got out of that place alive.
After we were very nearly subjected to buying useless junk, my dad and I walked roughly a mile to our hotel. Nothing really that interesting happened on the way, but I did find this very nice looking shrubbery about a block from our hotel.

            We got to the hotel and dropped off our stuff, and then walked to the Space Needle. Since we had bought this thing called a city pass, we were able to do a whole bunch of stuff in Seattle for a fraction of the cost. And if you call right now, we’ll give you a free book light that will break within the first week, just pay extra processing and handling.
            So after the celebratory elevator ride, I was at the top of the Space Needle. There were a couple of really cool things that I noticed while I was up there. First was this building…

The second was Mount Rainier…

            I really liked how Mount Rainier looked. In my opinion, it looks like a mountain on top of the clouds.

            So after the Space Needle, my dad and I went to the Chihuly exhibit. For those of you who don’t know, Chihuly is an artist that works with glass. He likes to make really big spiky things made out of glass, for example…

            Or naturey like scenes like…

            After about an hour of becoming cultured, my dad and I went to the EMP Museum, courtesy of our city passes (there are still five hundred thousand book lights that were made by the Chinese using the energy harvested from the American Public School System that I need to get rid of…) Anyway, I wasn’t really that impressed with the EMP Museum, or maybe I was just tired, or both. I’m not really sure as I’m pretty tired right now, so forgive me if I’m not making much sense or rambling a bit… adcxs zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… Oh, sorry, I fell asleep there for a bit and my face fell on the keyboard.

Afterward, we went back to the hotel for a break before the concert, which turned out to be a really good idea because we were both really tired from walking around Seattle all day.
           
            At about 6:30 it was finally time for the concert. So we went down stairs to catch a taxi to the Key Arena. (We were both still really tired) To my surprise, there was a couple there that was also going to the concert, so we shared a cab and made our way to the arena. We get inside, buy a couple of shirts and a bracelet, and take our seats. About 15 minutes later, the opening act begins. The name of the band was “Band of Skulls” and they weren’t bad, but not particularly my favorite either. And finally after having been awake for 17 hours with 3 hours of sleep the night before, Muse finally took the stage.

Muse has recently come out with a new album which included a couple of dub-step inspired songs, “Follow Me” and “The Second Law: Unsustainable”. Well they opened with “Unsustainable” which was absolutely insane live. If you are interested, you can listen to the song by clicking on the link below.

            My personal favorite song that they performed live was “New Born”, as well as the improvisation afterwards. I’ve also included the link to this song.


            If you ever get the chance to see Muse live, I would highly recommend it. That concert was by far the best one I’ve ever been to, but in all fairness Muse is my favorite band so I’m kind of biased…

            After the concert we walked back to the hotel (yes, more walking) and I practically passed out as soon as I got to the hotel room.

DAY 2
            The day after the concert, I woke up at about 9, and sounded like a frog gargling nails whenever I attempted verbal communication. So I relied on hand gestures to get my ideas across.
            After the continental breakfast, my dad and I went to the Pacific Science Center. I was slightly disappointed in this one as well, but it was still better than what I would normally be doing on a Saturday morning; reading the backs of Raisin Bran boxes and checking my email.


            The Pacific Science Center is a really cool place to explore different fields of natural science, especially if you’re about 10 years old. Oh, and it helps to have the exhibits that you want to do open… However, my dad and I were able to move a 4000 pound ball with relative ease, which was pretty cool. In case you were wondering, no, I’m not a super hero, although my dad might be…

            After the Pacific Science Center, we took the monorail just for the heck of it and then called a cab. We went to some Caribbean restaurant that I cannot for the life of me remember what it was called, but they had some pretty darn good sandwiches.
            After completely stuffing ourselves on sammiches, we went to the Seattle Pinball Museum. Now I know what you are thinking; only geeks play pinball these days. Well, contrary to popular belief, nerds still play pinball too =P. Actually, if you are ever in Seattle, I would highly recommend you check this place out. For a measly $10 entry fee, you can play as much pinball as you want. This Machine here was probably my favorite of the old ones. And Arabian Nights was my favorite of the new ones.
           
            Now, if you have ever met me or my dad, you might have noticed that we are kinda sorta, maybe a little bit competitive… a lot. So we spent a good 3 hours trying to best each other at pinball on the various machines they had available to play on.

            Sadly, this was the last thing that my dad and I did in Seattle. We walked outside, and as my dad was calling for a cab to take us to the train station, he noticed something. From the corner of King and Marbury (I think) he saw what he thought was the station. It wasn’t the station, but the station did end up being right behind the building that he thought was the station. My dad got a pretty good laugh at how ridiculous we would have looked calling a cab to take us 2 or 3 blocks.

            And finally, after taking the most convoluted route possible to actually get to the train station, we get on the train headed home. If you are still reading this, then I commend you on your patience and willingness to read the near thoughtless ramblings that come from my mind whenever I’m in my transient state of mind where trains of thought go to not only be destroyed, but after being destroyed, scrapped for parts, then built into new trains and then violently smashed again in a never ending cycle of a train lovers nightmare.

            All that’s left to say, I had a pretty nice time on the way home from Seattle. My dad and I both had steak on the dining car, and I rocked out to Muse the rest of the way home. And that’s how my weekend went. I’m done. Probably…


















Now I’m done =P

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

A Letter to our Fans

 http://www.2dayblog.com/2012/09/20/so-many-fans/

 Us authors at the Dramatic Picnic Table care mightily for our fan base. We are intent on not letting our recent jump out on the big stage hinder the communication with our lojal fans that have been with us from the humble beginnings; we are mere mortals (at least most of us), and we know our success is dependent on you all. To show our appreciation, and to connect ever tighter with the most awesome group of people...

...What's that? I can't make such claims? "Excessive hyperbole," you say? Well, okay then, trying again.

...to connect ever tighter with you, a group of people that would surely rank in the top 100 of social groupings of people in the past few decades if such rankings existed.. That just doesn't flow well. Alright, words aren't on my side today. You're cool, is what I'm saying. And for you, we created a Facebook page. Feel free to like, comment, share, tweet, eat, sit on or otherwise interact with it. Because we're totally not letting our fame go to our heads.

Like, seriously.

Oh, and for the record, I love gingers, no matter what certain other individuals may claim.

Mysteries of the Unknown

You know when you go for a walk down a gravel road? You may be walking a dog, or speed-walking your way to the Olympics, or maybe you just want to enjoy the fresh air and the birds singing in the trees, when suddenly, you realize that there’s a rock in your shoe? How the heck does that even happen? I decided to delve deep within my mind to come up with a couple probable explanations for this natural (or unnatural) phenomenon.

Possibility 1

Billions of years ago, a race of tiny alien gnomes invaded earth. A few years passed and our ancestors saw that the gnomes nearly covered the entire world.(It helps that the average female gnome gives birth to about 40 gnome babies every month). Our ancestors became worried that these gnomes would become too powerful, so they attacked, and killed millions. The gnomes had no choice but to surrender. Our ancestors then banished the survivors to live underground. Little do we know that most of the outer layer of the earth’s crust is now inhabited by these gnomes’ descendants.

blog earth

And there they live, slowly claiming their revenge one tiny rock at a time.

gnomes

Possibility 2

Rocks are actually just magical creatures in disguise. These creatures have the ability to know exactly when anything is looking at them, and they can only take their true form when no one is looking. Obviously there is no way that I could know exactly what these “rock creatures” would look like…perhaps something majestic?

majestic

(picture from www.teamjimmyjoe.com)

No…probably not…

Most likely, these magical rock creatures would be horrifying. I am not talking about something just a little bit scary like “the expressionless”. No, I am talking about something extremely terrifying, something that should be outlawed to even talk about, something that would cause your eyes to burn right out of their sockets if you were to even catch a glimpse of one in real life. Yes I am talking about…

…Gingers with Afros!

gingers

Oh the humanity!

Disclaimer: No one here at the Dramatic Picnic Table has anything against gingers (except for maybe Thor) regardless of whether they have souls or not. This was posted purely for comedic reasons.

But seriously, gingers should never have afros.

Anyway, back to the rocks in the shoes thing…

The magical gingers with afros are unfortunately extremely territorial. When we trespass on their property they climb into our shoes and relentlessly attack. Later when we check our shoes, all we see are small rocks.

So there you have it, the most probable explanations for why we get rocks in our shoes. Feel free to adopt my ideas, or come up with your own (even though mine are probably better).

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Life with Falcons

I don’t particularly care for birds. Especially the stupid ones that run into the windows of my house. Unless they have a nice song, or look like a serious bird-of-prey, then I’m pretty indifferent. But Falcons. Man. If we all had falcons, life would be great. I think of a time, long gone by, when it was much more commonplace for a person to go into Falconry.
Falconry was everywhere. From England to Japan. While Falconry was mainly used for hunting smaller game, I’m sure that nowadays, we would have plenty of use for falcons in everyday life.

Like what if there was a zombie apocalypse? You could survive for a while off of the game your bird collects. Suppose the neighbor’s small dog keeps leaving presents in your lawn. I’m sure that the dog would learn to stop if it was dropped from a variable height every time it strolled by. 

مقناص_بن_سويف
http://www.flickr.com/photos/4444/6690163401/

(Leonidas Bird will find you)

Maybe the power goes down in your city and your friend is going to ask the girl you like out on a date via messenger pigeon. Send your bird high in the sky and intercept that letter! I’m sure you could use a laser pointer and train your hawk to send messages for you. Best way to send a Valentines too.
Falconry is cool for hunting or shows, but imagine if we had birds fighting along side dog and man. I’m sure that within a few years, the genius nuts at DARPA would give that hawk some sick gadgets. The Falcon-guy would be the elite warrior of every squad.

Red-shouldered-Hawk
 http://birdsflight.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Red-shouldered-Hawk.jpg

PEWPEW! PEWPEWPEW!

Unfortunately, falconry is not as common as it should be. I think that would make a great club for school. Or just a really cool local organization.
But one drawback to a society with more falconers, is that you’d see a hecka lot more of this guy:


 http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/characters/images/hidden05/hidden05.jpg

As if we need more middle-aged men, COMPLETELY obsessed with Falcons.
(And what the heck is he wearing?  A peacoat-spandex-onesie?)
But he did bring us this…

Sunday, December 23, 2012

A Public Service Announcement

     Well, I was bored the other day, so I decided to clean out my backpack. Inside I found a really awesome thing called a dual diffraction grating. Basically it breaks normal light out into it's different components, or the spectrum of light. The resulting image of looking through the grating at light is pretty awesome. For example, this is a picture of our Christmas tree.

And this is the tree looking through the diffraction grating

     So I showed this to my dad and he said it reminded him a bit of those old Public Service announcements. They all followed the same format. It would show a picture of something, say this is your brain. Then it would do something to said object and say it was your brain on drugs. Don't do drugs. The example he used was an egg. The Public Service announcement showed the egg and said it was your brain. Next it showed scrambled eggs, and say it was your brain of drugs, don't do drugs.

So this is your brain

This is your brain on drugs

Doesn't the second one look like a lot more fun? But seriously don't do drugs...

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Nice To Meat You

Hey there humans! (I'm assuming that's what you are if you're reading this...)

Anyway, I was thinking. Meat is great. I definitely could not live without it. I don't think anyone could, seeing as we're all made of meat. There's some other stuff in there, like souls and emotions and useless things like that, but meat is definitely what holds us together. It's our foundation. In fact, it should be utilized in our language more. There are plenty of instances where using "meat" in our daily language would be perfectly prudent.


                               (Found this on the Internet^)

Or, instead of saying "I'm hot", you could say "I'm bacon". Much better, I know. Genius even. Get it? You're not really "bacon", you're "baking"...

Don't make fun of me. You were thinking the same thing. The other day....

Well anyway, why don't we talk about our favorite types of meat. There's ham, steak, bacon, lunch meat, turkey, salami, bologna (BULLOGNA), aaaaaand probably some other types. My favorite?
Oh that's easy. My favorite meat is... dead meat.
 I look at cows, peacefully grazing in the pasture, mouths full of mushy chewed grass. The sun sets behind them in a brilliant blaze of oranges and soft pink hues, the fading light glints off the cows and their big, brown eyes.*Congratulations, if you are the first one reading this, that means you win! To get the songs, send me an email to dramaticpicnictable@gmail.com and I will send you the two songs! (In order to gift the songs, I have to have an email address, I promise we won't spam you with a whole bunch of emails)  A normal person may appreciate the beauty of such a moment, but since I'm basically an immortal lizard man with an abysmal black hole for a heart, all I see is a big, fat blob of meat. Meat with legs is all cows are. I would draw you all a lovely picture of this scene...
If I actually cared about any of you, that is.

Actually, that brings up a good point... If our world and society was based upon MEAT... I may not be able to contain myself. I may find myself attacking and subsequently trying to eat any poor innocent sap who comes across my path. And that would not be good... (I've heard it's unhealthy for humans to eat human flesh). My health could be in question!

You're right, this is a bad idea. I really don't know why I would ever think of such a thing! But, of course, we all make mistakes.

We're all meat, right?

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Words I hate Volume 1

There are some words I hate. I don’t always know why I hate them. I don’t know if this will actually be a continuous series. But I will keep you informed as more words I hate come up. So I guess that kind of makes it a series…I just don’t know how well I will fulfill this, so don’t take it as a promise, but more of a threat.

This episode’s word (only one this time…I think most will only have one word) is ‘rural’. 

When I realized I hate this word: At a lovely dinner date. (Sadie’s)

Why I hate this word: I guess I tried to use it in a sentence (I know, my vocabulary is quite advanced) and my mouth could not make that word sound right. That is why I hate it. It never sounds right. Quite a few people on the dinner date also tried to say ‘rural’. Still, it always sounds off. Like you are Scooby-doo, gargling marbles, or just special.

There are some words that you can own. They just snap off of the tongue, and you sound confident and authoritative. Like the word ‘rustic’. Upon hearing that word, I immediately picture a golden field with a cottage in Northern Italy. Mountains are in the distance with grape vines flowing down their sides. The ‘rus’ at the beginning is quickly deployed, and beautifully complimented by the ‘tic’ sound. the ‘tic’ is sharp and somewhat aggressive, yet the word is so passive in meaning.
There is a reason I picked the word ‘rustic’. Apparently, originally, ‘rustic’ and ‘rural’ actually had the SAME FREAKING MEANING. How did such opposites mean the same thing once? 

‘Rural’ probably was dropped as a child. Then picked apart by crabs.
rr

It’s even in comic sans…

Just go ahead and say ‘rural’ a few times. While you are at it, go ahead and say ‘whirl’. Those words do not look that much alike. But they sound pretty close to me. My quarrel (see what I did there?) is not with the latter word. It is with ‘rural’. I don’t think many people can make that word sound right.


And I know I put the punctuation outside of the quotation marks (Personal preference).